Finding "It"

I find myself falling in love with Wales more and more with each day that passes. Every morning I am filled with such an overpowering joy to see the mountains covered in mist and to smell the fresh, salty ocean air. I am so content here that it is hard to think about leaving it all behind in just two short months.

I have discovered so many things about myself and what makes me truly happy in life. The sea, mountains, sheep, endless skies... As I said a few posts ago, I have found that I am much stronger and conscious as a result of having gone away, more so than I ever thought I was capable of. I am so proud of the things I have done and the confidence I have found in doing them.

I have forged such a strong bond with Bangor; I have met wonderful, beautiful and compassionate people, seen stunning vistas and seascapes, and have opened new doors for myself in the future. I know what I want now, not just out of my immediate life but in the long run. I know that I want to travel and meet people, I want to take pictures and create my world out of my discoveries, I know what I need to be happy, I know that I want to teach and that my beliefs in what are good and true in the world exist in me and those I know. It is such a relief to feel this after searching for so long...

Love,

Zoe

A sunny afternoon bus ride through the mountains to the wool mill in Trefriw!

A Day by the Sea

Today was a perfect day. All of my weirdness from yesterday has faded and I'm choosing to dwell on all of the happy things and the fact that my parents are here in Wales for an entire week. We had a wonderful morning beginning with press-pot coffee and some welsh cakes with jam. We talked for a good hour in my cozy little room and then decided to course of our day. We chose to take the bus from Bangor to Llandudno (on the North Eastern coast) despite the early rainshower. A funny little phenomenon that occurs along the coast of the Menai is that no matter where it is raining, Bangor, Conway, Llanfairfechan, Deganwy, the Great Orme (the peninsula on the Northern coast of the Menai Strait that juts out into the Irish Sea) ALWAYS has sun and blue skies. So Llandudno was a good choice on a rainy morning because of it's close proximity to the G.O.

We took the morning bus to the scenic coastal town with brilliantly blue skies and walked along the seaside, picking up little treasures here and there, sea glass, shells, and stones.

We parked ourselves on a bench by the water and ate rolls with local cheese, some fruit and of course, Jaffa Cakes. The town of Llandudno is a very sweet town, nestled between steep mountain cliffs and corseted by the sea it has the feel of a place that time forgot. The tall, turn of the century buildings that line the coast are various shades of soft pink, blue, and sea foam green stucco; the exotic foliage makes one feel like they are walking along a street in the Mediterranean rather than one in the North of Wales. Everything in the town was coated with a thin layer of seasalt, the benches, the doorknobs, even my face!

I am so in love with days like this where time just sort of carries me along and any semblance of an agenda or schedule is thrown away.

After our lunch we walked along the pier out into the water and then swiftly back to shore due to the wind. Mom and I found a little Café and we decided to take a seat and warm up with some tea. It was so lovely to sit and talk with my parents about everything that has been going on in life.

My parents told me all about their travels in Germany; my mom spoke fondly of her days there in high school and college and how good it felt to have gone back and seen people and places from her past. I am so happy that they were able to get out of the states and take some time for themselves to travel and have fun, they are more than worthy of such a break!

We boarded the afternoon bus back home to Bangor, tired but happy. Tomorrow we are planning another day out, perhaps to Conwy (Con-way) which lies just North East of Bangor on the coast. It is a nice little town with a castle and a beautiful harbor. Now, onto more important things: evening tea.

XO

Today Felt Like Christmas

My parents have safely made it to Bangor, just in time for the fall rain. Perfect.

I am happy they are here and in two whole, motherly and fatherly pieces. Last night I was a whirling dervish because they hadn't called all day to check in after traveling from Traben-Trarbach to Neu Anspach on the AUTOBAHN. For God's sakes. I was so worried! After driving on the autobahn with Annie in Hamburg I shuttered to think about my parents driving stick shift on that hell-way. I talked with one of my girlfriends, Raphaela, who is German and knows alllll about the crazy drivers in her country. She was so sweet and talked me down,"You know what?! I know exactly how you feel, sometimes my parents just blow me off all together and don't reply to my emails or calls... I don't think they understand that kids can get just as worried and nervous as parents can." Oh Raphi. But she was so right! I always worry about my parents and if they are okay. Maybe it's the only child thing? It's just me, so, if something happened, it would be just ME! Freaky stuff, man.

Anyhew, parents are here and they are happy but very tired from the long train ride down from Manchester. I went and met them at the train station and we got a cab to their Bed and Breakfast. Once they were all settled we walked down the road to the Tap and Spile Pub and got some dinner. I am so excited to show them where I've been living and tell them about all the things I'm doing/have done. Tomorrow we are going to catch a train or bus out of Bangor to Caernarfon or Lamberis to see castles and the Saturday markets. I must say that as overjoyed as I am to see my parents it is strange having them here. It's like a collision of two of my worlds "Bangor, meet Marquette." I think it is because I have just pictured myself here and no one else, not any of my friends or family, just me doing this alone, flying solo. It's one of those silly things that really isn't such a big deal but it makes you feel a little funky and out of sorts. Until I saw them at the train station this afternoon their trip to see me was more like a possibility and not an actual reality. So, I pretty much freaked out and started tearing up when I hugged them. I forgot how good it feels to get a big ole hug from my mom and how easy it is to sink into my tree of a dad. I have missed them so so much. It is going to be a fantastic week!

Best,

Zoe

Piecing Myself Together

Somedays I can't believe where I am. The things I see and the places I go feel like they are part of a dream. Like tonight, for instance, on my walk home I saw pink mountains floating in a blinding sunset just over the peaceful sea. At moments like this I can't help but shake my head and say to myself "Damn, Zo. Look at this. Look where you are." This has been the mantra of my life for the past month and a half; constantly in wonderment of what surrounds me and at peace with things. Several things. I never thought that I would make it here to this place to live this life. I have found such strength and pride in myself that I never thought I was capable of.

So many things have happened in the past month since I have written. I am all settled in my flat with my friendly and giggly flat mates. I have made some wonderful friends from all over the world and have had many chances to travel. For the past three weeks I have been an absolute fiend! North Wales, Liverpool, Dublin, Edinburgh, Anglsey, the list goes on. This is the first full week since orientation that I have had in Bangor. I can feel the effects of such concentrated travel, tho. When I got home last Sunday from Scotland I slept a good 14 hours and needed a full day without shoes. But, every minute has been worth it.

All of these places have opened my eyes and my heart. I know that I have been changed forever by this experience-- as someone once said to me, quite matter-of-factly, "You will not be the same person ever again." And I didn't believe him at first, but now, I see that in fact, I won't be the same person ever again. Some mornings when I am just waking up I realize that my life is completely different just as a result of having come to Wales and I know, deep down that the things I will do in my life have been shifted and reassembled in a different way than before.

I AM SO READY TO LIVE! and to live confidently, and wildly, and creatively as the woman I am.

XO